Reflections

My hearts trust challenges

Trusting God with EVERYTHING feels like a big ask. If you’re anything like me you have to renew it every couple of weeks. I’ll realise that I’ve grabbed at a situation I had just let go of and then release it like a hot potato. Most times. I’m getting better lol.

I suppose then our desires aren’t only limited to the things we personally want to do but the things we want total control of. I desire to be in charge and sure, so I don’t want to give that control to God as easily as I think. So the challenge for my heart is to honestly believe and TRUST that He has it covered.

Poetry

Pride keeps me in shatters

Pride keeps me in shatters though I’m begging to be healed Screaming for relief but my clutch will not yield

I say I’m doing fine and I promise I’m okay. But my heart is gently peeling pumping blood of disarray

Ruins

In spiritual ruins

That’s how I entered your throne room

Bright with promises you know I didn’t keep
Brokenness mixed with shouts of bravado.

I turned my back to rebuke myself, ashamed you should see me this way

Desperately trying to piece myself together

Forcing parts to fit but always losing my grip. Crying ‘cos it only hurt more.

Yet you waited

For me to forgive myself and allow your healing

But I’m too ashamed so I’ll continue hurting, yearning, bleeding